How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Your dad touched me again.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
