i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
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Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
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Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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