I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
