yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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