I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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