So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
