oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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