I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
