I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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