i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize