Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
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just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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