Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
