Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
