oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
