i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
bring money and cleavage
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Randomize
