She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
