I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Randomize
