i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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