Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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