Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
