i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
