I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
