Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
They are going to name an STD after you.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize