this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
