So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
