I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
