Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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