Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
