And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
