i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
