ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
