It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
