people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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