Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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