Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
