just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
