I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
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I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
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So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
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