I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
