i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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