i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
