I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I want to fling myself into the sun
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
