He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
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As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
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You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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