we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
