You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
