Pants 0. Shit 1.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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