oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize