Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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