I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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