She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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