So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
