So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
