Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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