Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
