the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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