Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
