I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
