even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You left your underwear on the fireplace
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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