Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
