He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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