"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
