we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
