We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
