Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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