I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
