So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
