So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
